Book of Love

The Book of Love

Peter Gabriel

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It’s full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that’s where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It’s full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we’re all too young to know
But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings

by Peter Gabriel

Marriage

Truism Twenty-Seven:  Marriage is a good thing.

Marriage

I am a proponent of marriage.  I think it is a good thing.  Marriage is the most basic form of society, the formation of a union, using the committed strength of both parties to protect itself as a unit.  Two are stronger than one.

Back when people had the idea that more than one is stronger than one and societies were born, they mucked up the idea. To develop society, they developed them based upon control.  After all, all relationships are built on the idea of control.  When they designed society, they built it upon controlling one another.  Laws, trade and rituals told the individual what not to do, or else punishment would be administered.  It did not instill an attitude of working together.

As the basic form of society, marriage is doomed to failure if it controls individuals negatively.  The two will constantly be at odds.  Marriage, and for that matter society, can work best if it controls them positively and on togetherness.

Marriage in hard times tends to work better than when things are easy.  The partners work together against a common adversary and the partners worked together.  When survival became easier, marriage began to fail.  The partners had nothing to work for, so they against each other and for the individual.

Marriage, and society, can succeed in easier times if the partners work for the relationship, itself.  The commitment of marriage rather than co-habitation means you have decided to build, rather than separate easily.  The ease of divorce destroys the commitment, too.  Before you marry, you need to be sure of your willingness for the commitment, and you need to fulfill the vows you make.

Love

Truism Thirteen:  Love is blind.

People say, “Love is blind.”  They mean this statement in a lot of different ways.  For some people, it means when in love one cannot see anything else in the world.  For others, it means the appearance and faults of the object of love does not matter.  For still others, it means the lover cannot see the consequence of his or her actions.

Just as the statement is vague, love is vague.  Love is a fog.  Love can be almost anything.  Love is protection, such as the newborn’s love of those who allow life.  Love is giving protection, such as the newborn parent’s love of that tiny being.  For the teen, love is lust, an active break from childhood.  For the old, love is warmth, an active delay of the hereafter.

If life is a dance, as I have suggested, and the melody is some basic orchestration of the universe, and the lyrics are the words artists, scientists and philosophers have applied, love is the song.  There is a reason that most songs are about love.  When you find love, you are singing your song.  And, when you are looking for it.  And, when you are recovering from it.  And, when you do not want to believe it is important at all.

Since I am discussing love, I should add a different piece of advice here.  For a successful marriage, think about the love each day.  It is a partnership like no other.  If you only think about yourself only, the marriage will probably fail.