Friends

Truism Twenty-Nine:  Friends are the side steps in the Dance.

You will have many types of friends in your lifetime.  Some will be from very brief exposure and can range from momentary acquaintances to business associates to neighbors.  The amount of effort you both want to place in the relationship, and for lack of a clearer definition, the similarities in your dances will determine how deeply the acquaintance becomes and how long it lasts.  Tens of thousands of these friends will pass through your lifetime.

Occasionally, closer friendships will emerge.  Be somewhat guarded about these, for a moment can be misleading.  The closeness can seem sublime, but might hide the fact the relationship is truly little different from the first variety.  If your life separates you from these friends, the living you both do elsewhere will erode most of the initial feelings.  You may not realize this at first.  You may think the friendship will endure any separation.  But, it will not.  Eventually, the friendship will become a memory you while away a Sunday afternoon with years later.

Also, beware friends that are unrequited, whether by you or the other person.  Despite the momentary nature of brief friends, again, the moment can be misleading.  The angst the moment reveals to the damaged one can be particularly painful in unrequited friendships.

Trauma, much like the moment, can enrich a friendship, while being misleading about itself.  Whether it be war or the end of a marital relationship, not so dissimilar, the spark of a friendship might ignite into a fire you think will last a lifetime.  But, little more than kindling is truly present and the fire will likely die out quickly.  If you suffer from a trauma, be careful of where you turn and uncertain about what you feel.

If you are lucky enough to create long-lasting friendships, be proud.  They are rare.  They are more like family than friends.  You may think many relationships are like this.  They are not.  You and your friend are lucky.

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