Truism Twenty-Two: Failing sucks.
Failure and the feelings it evokes are probably the most common state of being for people. Of course, we succeed, and we do it often, from the first time we sit up in the crib until get up the nerve to start a relationship, but we will topple over dozens of times and most relationships will be momentary acquaintances we soon forget. When we succeed we move on to conquer more—we sit, we stand, we walk—we build friends. We do not sit on our hands, dwelling about our successes. Maybe, we should.
But, we all dwell about our failures. We are far more apt to think about our failures, to hope for validation that usually never comes, to bang our heads against the wall. Advice we usually get after failing tells us not to dwell, to get over it, to count our blessings. These acts seldom work. We are not in the mood for it. The reason people do not know how to help us with our failures because they do not know how to help themselves with theirs.
What they should do and what we should do is pretty simple, really. When you have failed at something, you are in a bad mood, obviously. Use it. Think about that ugly mole on your left thigh, or wherever. Think about your awkward, side-ways smile. Think about other failures you have had. Realize you cannot do anything about those things. Think about the quantity of things on your list. Make fun of yourself for things that are not faults at all. Laugh at yourself for how silly you are being. Laugh more. Look at faults on other people. Laugh at them, too. Humor is the best stress reliever you have. The failure you have just made is not that big in the whole expanse of the universe. You do not need to move on—existence moves you on naturally. You just have to survive the moment.